the Denver Career Counseling blog and musings

This time of year can be challenging for a variety of reasons. One challenge I find is to honor the commitments I so eagerly made to myself during the holidays and at the turn of the new year. So, this tip is for those times when you want to commit, but it seems so hard to get there.

Think of something you have been finding it difficult to commit to, despite your best intentions. It might be to clean your office, practice piano, or call a counselor for help with something important in your life. Whatever it is, acknowledge that it’s important to you, and reaffirm your commitment to take at least small steps in that direction.

During the course of the coming week, there will be many moments in which you face a choice to either act or not act upon this commitment. In the moment that you face this choice, can you pause and take stock of the decision ahead of you? What do you notice right there, in that moment of decision? What resistance, negative thought patterns, or other hurdles arise to try to keep you from acting in the direction of that commitment? What other temptations come into play (“hmm…I could either spend 15 minutes organizing my desk, or I could watch just a little TV…or maybe go on Facebook for a while”)? What arises in your thoughts, your body, and your emotions? Just see if you can be right there in that moment of decision, observing it with an open mind.

Then, ask yourself “Will this decision lead me toward, or away from, the things to which I am committed?”

After this pause, go ahead and make your decision, and act upon it. You might not always choose to act toward your commitment, but your increasing awareness around that moment of decision will lead you toward a more intentional and mindful relationship with your commitnent and, ultimately, increase the likelihood that you’ll make the choice that will serve you best in the long run.

A few caveats:

* Please do not take this tip to suggest that I think you should “hunker down” and always choose the less fun or less relaxing option. Facebook is OK from time to time, of course, as is eating ice cream and many other pleasurable activities. But think how good you feel once you take some steps toward a commitment – often a much longer-lasting reward.

* Also, taking baby steps is typically much more feasible than trying to get something done all at once (and often the only way – like I can’t possibly learn Swedish in one night, yet I try a little each day if possible).

* Finally, please do not beat yourself up if you make the “wrong” decision. Simply bring awareness to the point of decision-making. If you feel bad about the choice you make, tomorrow will present a new opportunity to try again.

All the best with this one – let me know how it goes!

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